Our second daughter is due in less than 5 weeks.
It goes without saying that we are, of course, eagerly awaiting our littlest girl’s arrival and can’t wait to meet her. Everytime she rolls around in my stomach, or dances along to music playing in the outside world, or kicks me after I have eaten a sweet dessert, I fall more and more in love with her. What will she look like? What will her personality be like? How and when will she choose to enter the world?
But, unlike when I was pregnant with Eliza and feeling all of these same feelings, there is also a feeling of nostalgia in the air.
Our time with just Eliza is winding down. She is currently the center of our universe, the light of our lives. We will never again be a family of 3 – and nor will we ever want to be one. But it is the end of a special time in our lives.
Every night when I put her to bed, I shower her with kisses and sing her a song as I place her into her crib. And every night when I walk out of her room, I feel a little sad. Pretty soon, my first baby will be sleeping in a bed, will be reading herself books and tucking herself into bed. Pretty soon, I may be to distracted by a newborn crying and my need to feed, change, soothe the baby, or steal a moment for myself, rather than tuck Eliza in. That makes me sad, because tucking her in, and spending that special time with her is my favorite part of the day.
Until the new baby is born, there is never a question of priorities. If Eliza needs something, we are there for her. It’s a parents’ only wish to be able to give their child whatever the child needs. But once the second baby comes, that will be more difficult.
I hope Eliza knows how loved she is; I hope the new baby knows how loved and wanted she will be.
I think having two daughters will be the most amazing, rewarding, gratifying and exciting thing to ever happen to me. But it will also be the most challenging, tiring and scary adventure I will ever have.
Five weeks to go. Gulp.